As corporate leaders head back to their desks in early January, after celebrating holidays (albeit more conservatively in many cases) they will ease back to a hard set of facts… Looking in the eyes of their managers and employees and getting them energized and focused on their respective business agenda.  Not to be a pessimist but no doubt a lofty goal, given a record high number of distractions resulting from a tough & dipping economy.  The economy, as we all know, hasn't simply resulted in job loss but notable personal financial loss – one that won't be recoverable for years  to come.  So imagine, the demeanor of those returning to work in January - and where their heads and hearts are focused.  And, (not to be totally depressing and cause you to skip the rest of th

Next month I’m turning the BIG 4-0…I can’t say I’m very “zen” with it – not because of my actual age – but that everything around me seems to be “shutting down” at a time when my world should be “opening up.”

I recently was blessed to have my fifth...yes #5...grandchild, and somehow it seems like a major milestone.  I have two biological sons (and 3 grown step children) and each produced two amazing children. And, that seemed to model my own life -- having two children. But, when my son, Rich, and wife, Lisa, had Griffin 8 weeks ago, that changed. I can't explain why, but having a fifth grandchild is making me rethink my work and life choices.  I've always worked, even when my children were small, and loved it ...and I still do. In some ways being a working grandmother is the best of all worlds. I pride myself on working toward the goal of feeling effective in my personal life and my career -- a daily challenge. I don't live close enough to see my children and grandchildren more that once a month, if that.  I know that's been hard for both sets of parents, as they don't have family close by to help with their busy lives.

I have always believed everyone needs to understand how to manage their work and life in a world where there are no external boundaries separating the two.  But, as my ten-year old daughter is teaching me, we are never too young to learn how to make the choice between where to put our time so we don’t get overloaded.

When you hit fifth grade, all of a sudden, more time is being spent each morning on how you look.  More time brushing and putting up your hair, washing your face, making sure your outfit is “just right.”   All of which takes time.  

Unfortunately, I didn’t clue in to this need for additional time until early October.  Every morning we seemed to be consistently ten minutes later than usual getting out the door because my daughter wasn’t ready.  I tried to figure out what I was doing wrong:  Was I getting her up at the right time?  Yes.  Were we getting homework done in time?  Yes.  What was it?  

Outside forces beyond our control influence how we manage our work and life, but I am convinced that we also get in our own way.  Part of the challenge is to recognize when an issue is something we can control, and then change our behavior to resolve it.  Unfortunately that is easier said than done, as illustrated by the following story.  

I was speaking with a friend recently who works and has two small children.  Her husband would be described as a hands-on dad; however, my friend is feeling very overwhelmed.  In order to coordinate her work and life effectively she needs to start work by 8:00 am most days, which means her husband needs to take the kids to school.  

Prior to coming to work for FlexPaths I considered myself to be a baby boomer that had been trained by traditionalist. Meaning, my corporate training often paralleled boot camp. In fact, anytime I heard someone  refer to  the example: baby boomers felt they earned your stripes by being the first car in the parking lot in the morning and the last to leave the parking lot at night, I felt they were talking about me.

One of the most compelling findings Jeff Greenhaus and I reported in our research (described in our book, Work and Family--Allies or Enemies?) on the lives and careers of over 800 business professionals was this: The more time that working mothers spent taking care of themselves, the better were the emotional and physical health of their children.

Does this apparent paradox surprise you? It shouldn't, for it's just another bit of proof that if you don't take care of yourself then you can't really serve those who depend on you. So why is it so difficult for people to devote the resources needed to take care of themselves?

When I ask participants in my Total Leadership program to rate how they feel about how things are going in the four main parts of their lives--work, home, community, and self--it's often the last that's rated lowest.

I spent a good chunk of my summer travelling the country, speaking about work and how to make it fit with the rest of life in ways that are good both for companies and the people employed by them. I talked to thousands of people. I listened closely to the pulse of American business. There's much pain. Too many people feel overwhelmed, disconnected, pessimistic, and without purpose other than mere survival. Demand for change is surely the order of the day.

When I started my company, it made the most sense to work out of my home office. Not only was it less overhead, but because I travel, I didn’t want to waste time commuting when I was in town. As the number of people who work with me grew, the virtual-office model continued because they also preferred working from home. All was going well…until this summer.

Suddenly, having a separate office began to look appealing. Why? Not only were both of my children off from school, but my husband was now home as well. Having taken a severance package from his job, he was conducting his job search out of the house. And, let’s just say, space was a little “cozy.” How were we going to do this? Either I was going to have to implement new work from home strategies, or I was going to be office-bound.

The knee-jerk response to cost-reduction pressures in an economic downturn is turn up the heat to wring greater productivity out of your work force. This is not your best option, and will hurt more than help.

A smarter approach is to get more out of your people by tapping into what people really care about, in all parts of their lives. When you do this -- for real, not just as window dressing for some faux social welfare program -- you not only reduce stress, you decrease time wasted on activities that don't matter, boost trust with the company, and build resilience.

Contrast these three approaches you might take as a manager of a solid performer when times are tough:

"Hey Sarah, we're having a bad year, so if you want any kind of bonus at all, you're going to have to suck it up and work harder than ever before. Sorry, I know it's tough, but that's just the reality."