In January 2007, our au pair arrived – we were both dazed ….she from jet lag and one week of orientation in NYC, which I was sure included plenty of nightlife and I in shock that some person was coming into my home. I mean – did she even really know how to take care of kids???   I was no stranger to child care – after all my daughter was in daycare at 6 months.  But I’m a business owner – never one to even think I’m a qualified stay at home mom – so work was a must.  Ironically, my company focuses on work-life/flexibility solutions!!

So, I followed the path that so many others chose for all of the same reasons.  I picked an au pair to care for my 3 ½ year old daughter and 4 month son.  Her name was Marina…..Fast Forward 18 months – my children understand two new languages, Marina went from shock to a confident young woman. She was constantly on the search for new experiences for herself and the children.

Before I knew it, she was teaching in my kids Montessori school and she/I looked forward to sharing our day, sharing the childcare, our challenges, successes and coffee!  Don’t get me wrong – we had problems – car accidents, staying out too late without calling, friends we didn’t like, but my husband and I loved it all. We realized she truly became a part of our family and we sort of gained a third child – albeit an adult teen.  The noise, laughter and activity level in our house was so positive and uplifting – who cares if in a given week my husband was in two countries, I was in three states – somehow – we all managed to be together and the children were loved and secure.

Our au pair extended her stay for six months but, now it was time for her to leave.  We had a party for her and our now 4 ½ year old made a speech and promised to send “emails”.  It was all very festive - I thought I was fine until I was negotiating a tough contract with Karol and she asked me what was wrong – I was sounding “off”.  I couldn’t even get the words out….Marina’s  leaving.

My sadness had nothing to do with logistics or childcare or about my work-life needs.  I spend so much time worrying and reading about work-life and trying to get it all done.   But, the reality is I just could not imagine her room empty, her music not blasting, and the absence of her clever looks about whatever she was up to.  When we drove to the airport – she and I were dazed again…..how we could have become so connected only to have such a sharp separation.  I was so proud of her – she took her experience and got an international teaching position with a private kindergarten.  The kids said their bravest auf wiedersehen!– and as I walked her to the ticket counter all I could say was thank you.

It’s been about a week- Marina has arrived at home – she is recovering from her jet lag and getting ready for her new job.  I can hear the cautious yet excited spark in her voice.  She is ready to move on and I am so excited for her.  Our little family is doing just fine too, even though “mom isn’t as much fun and is always using her Blackberry” and my husband is back to travelling.  But, all of us have been reminded what a blessing it is to be a family.  We are always there for one another no matter where we are in a given week. And as for Marina, well she will always be with us even if we have to say bis später.