Next month I’m turning the BIG 4-0…I can’t say I’m very “zen” with it – not because of my actual age – but that everything around me seems to be “shutting down” at a time when my world should be “opening up.”

As a business owner, a frozen credit market is paralyzing; as a homeowner, I’m watching one house after another post a “For Sale” sign, and as a consumer – you can’t help but wonder am I really going to buy anything for holidays this year and why are all our favorite local stores closing down?? I clearly remember the construction projects that were stalled in the 80s; the lack of employment during the recession of the 90s and the dot com crash of the early 2000s.  I should know better…I should be one of those individuals who KNOW that things will bounce back but this time seems different.  This time - we are all vulnerable and it couldn’t get more personal.

Like many others, I am in a bit of a daze. Commitments that I’ve made depended upon others who promised to fulfill theirs to me. Contingency plans are actually worst case scenarios.  The “what ifs” are mounting  – what if there are more layoffs; what if the bonus check doesn’t come in; what if we can’t fulfill corporate contracts. 

It came to head when I faced quite a disapointment. Something strange happened and I didn't have quite as strong a reaction as I would have normally.  I thought maybe I was in shock and not yet feeling all I normally feel.  I figured that I was in shock and that deep down I was crazy angry but that is just not the case.  I think what happened is that whether or not the market has hit bottom – my confidence is unwavering. External factors have become completely unpredictable.  But here is what is predictable and I can bet my future on:  my love and belief in my marriage; the joy of our children; the incredible blessing of a phenomenal team at FlexPaths and clients that I believe in and am honored to work with. With those as my “personal fundamentals” – I officially stopped caring about the pundits definitional of market fundamentals and will gamble not on stocks but my personal equity. 

Here is what I know – there are millions of talented people out there; there are extraordinary companies to work for and we all have a limited amount of time in our lives to make the best of it.   Shame on me for ever thinking my 40s would be the beginning of easier times….instead – it’s going to be the beginning of perhaps my most fulfilling times.

By the way: I would LOVE to hear your personal and career stories – what are YOU thinking??

PS  And feel free to add 40 bday tipsJ