For the first time in its 20 year history, the Families and Work study of the Changing Workforce found that men report experiencing more work-life conflict than women, with 59% of fathers in dual-income families reporting conflict compared to 45% of mothers. This study, which is reported in USA Today and the WSJ in a column about the 'new workplace equalizer', among others, sites other interesting findings as well. However, the fact that men are now not only as stressed, but actually more stressed, may not surprise many working couples today. They're just not that used to it..the 'balancing' or 'juggling' act. And, while the added stress is not good news for men, the fact that they're sharing responsibility for life needs is good news. And, I think the added stress men are experiencing may actually be beneficial for everyone. It may be the tipping point that moves organizations to embrace flexibility in the way work is done, which is one of the primary ways to relieve work-life conflict resulting from not being able to effectively manage work and life.

For decades women have struggled to deal with the challenges of being a productive worker and also taking care of their personal lives while many men continued to follow what we still call the 'Traditional Family' model -- implying this is the norm even though it represents less than 20% of today's workforce -- with the man working outside the home and a full time stay at home spouse who managed their 'life'.  As men have taken on more of a fair share of the personal side of life, they've inherited the stress that women have been experiencing for decades. In the past, organizations have attempted to accommodate individual women -- especially those who were highly valued -- by granting them some form of flexibility so they would continue working. More recently, companies have begun to recognize the importance of creating a more flexible, resilient organization that can adapt to changing times, which in part means having a flexible workforce. Now, as the pressure builds for men to manage both work and personal life, hopefully more of them will come forward and demand more control over
how, where and when work is done…leading to a real culture of flexibility.

Several years ago I led a diversity exercise at a major corporation that involved separating the group by gender and asking each group to tell the other group what it would like them to do to create a better work environment.  I was quite surprised when the men read their list which was toped by the item: 'Ask the women to keep fighting for more flexibility because we want it too, and we'll be right behind them.'

Well, now's the time to speak up. Flexibility is the way work needs to be done for the health of the organization, for women, and now, for men, too.