I have always believed everyone needs to understand how to manage their work and life in a world where there are no external boundaries separating the two.  But, as my ten-year old daughter is teaching me, we are never too young to learn how to make the choice between where to put our time so we don’t get overloaded.

When you hit fifth grade, all of a sudden, more time is being spent each morning on how you look.  More time brushing and putting up your hair, washing your face, making sure your outfit is “just right.”   All of which takes time.  

Unfortunately, I didn’t clue in to this need for additional time until early October.  Every morning we seemed to be consistently ten minutes later than usual getting out the door because my daughter wasn’t ready.  I tried to figure out what I was doing wrong:  Was I getting her up at the right time?  Yes.  Were we getting homework done in time?  Yes.  What was it?  

Outside forces beyond our control influence how we manage our work and life, but I am convinced that we also get in our own way.  Part of the challenge is to recognize when an issue is something we can control, and then change our behavior to resolve it.  Unfortunately that is easier said than done, as illustrated by the following story.  

I was speaking with a friend recently who works and has two small children.  Her husband would be described as a hands-on dad; however, my friend is feeling very overwhelmed.  In order to coordinate her work and life effectively she needs to start work by 8:00 am most days, which means her husband needs to take the kids to school.  

When I started my company, it made the most sense to work out of my home office. Not only was it less overhead, but because I travel, I didn’t want to waste time commuting when I was in town. As the number of people who work with me grew, the virtual-office model continued because they also preferred working from home. All was going well…until this summer.

Suddenly, having a separate office began to look appealing. Why? Not only were both of my children off from school, but my husband was now home as well. Having taken a severance package from his job, he was conducting his job search out of the house. And, let’s just say, space was a little “cozy.” How were we going to do this? Either I was going to have to implement new work from home strategies, or I was going to be office-bound.

Last week in Fast Company blog I talked about the ongoing quandary of vacation—how do we get it, take it and truly disconnect.  Every year about this time the subject of vacation jumps front and center as I try to get ready for my own.  While I’ve gotten much better making the conscious decision that I will not work while on vacation, I still struggle with the week leading up to it, and the first couple of days back in the office after I return.  From what I see, I am not alone in this struggle.  

Last week I asked a friend who doesn’t have children her thoughts on Lisa Belkin’s article in The New York Times about equal parenting. She responded, “It made it look so hard, I can see why women choose to stay home. It seems easier” Then she asked what I thought, and I was somewhat surprised by my response, “I guess I wonder whoever told us this would be easy. The couples in the article are trying.”

by Cali Yost Guest Blogger for FlexPaths
“I’m just lucky to have this job,” is the response I’ve gotten many times over the past few months when I’ve spoken to individuals about flexibility. And, yes, we are living in uncertain economic times, however, that means we need to be even more flexible in the way we manage our work and life. Not less. “What?!?” you might be saying. Hang in there with me, and I’ll explain.

We all need to do more with less. We need to work smarter and better. We need to be as productive as possible. It is not the time to burnout, get sick or quit. But that’s our natural response when times get tough—hunker down and work harder, longer hours.