Next month I’m turning the BIG 4-0…I can’t say I’m very “zen” with it – not because of my actual age – but that everything around me seems to be “shutting down” at a time when my world should be “opening up.”

I recently was blessed to have my fifth...yes #5...grandchild, and somehow it seems like a major milestone.  I have two biological sons (and 3 grown step children) and each produced two amazing children. And, that seemed to model my own life -- having two children. But, when my son, Rich, and wife, Lisa, had Griffin 8 weeks ago, that changed. I can't explain why, but having a fifth grandchild is making me rethink my work and life choices.  I've always worked, even when my children were small, and loved it ...and I still do. In some ways being a working grandmother is the best of all worlds. I pride myself on working toward the goal of feeling effective in my personal life and my career -- a daily challenge. I don't live close enough to see my children and grandchildren more that once a month, if that.  I know that's been hard for both sets of parents, as they don't have family close by to help with their busy lives.

I have always believed everyone needs to understand how to manage their work and life in a world where there are no external boundaries separating the two.  But, as my ten-year old daughter is teaching me, we are never too young to learn how to make the choice between where to put our time so we don’t get overloaded.

When you hit fifth grade, all of a sudden, more time is being spent each morning on how you look.  More time brushing and putting up your hair, washing your face, making sure your outfit is “just right.”   All of which takes time.  

Unfortunately, I didn’t clue in to this need for additional time until early October.  Every morning we seemed to be consistently ten minutes later than usual getting out the door because my daughter wasn’t ready.  I tried to figure out what I was doing wrong:  Was I getting her up at the right time?  Yes.  Were we getting homework done in time?  Yes.  What was it?  

Outside forces beyond our control influence how we manage our work and life, but I am convinced that we also get in our own way.  Part of the challenge is to recognize when an issue is something we can control, and then change our behavior to resolve it.  Unfortunately that is easier said than done, as illustrated by the following story.  

I was speaking with a friend recently who works and has two small children.  Her husband would be described as a hands-on dad; however, my friend is feeling very overwhelmed.  In order to coordinate her work and life effectively she needs to start work by 8:00 am most days, which means her husband needs to take the kids to school.  

Prior to coming to work for FlexPaths I considered myself to be a baby boomer that had been trained by traditionalist. Meaning, my corporate training often paralleled boot camp. In fact, anytime I heard someone  refer to  the example: baby boomers felt they earned your stripes by being the first car in the parking lot in the morning and the last to leave the parking lot at night, I felt they were talking about me.